Sayonara Cinema

ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN (2007) Ten-year-old Michael Myers, the product of a dysfunctional and broken family, has slowly been building up a terrible darkness inside him. Barraded by his stepfather, ignored by his older sister, and picked on at school, Michael finds solace behind a clown’s mask and the killing of small animals. On Halloween night, after yet another run-in with bullies, Michael finally takes the next step in becoming a monster as he systemically murders everyone in his house. He is placed in Smith’s Grove Sanitarium, under the watchful eye of Dr. Loomis, who try as he may, is unable to tap into Michael.

Almost seventeen years later, Michael has grown into an impossibly strong brute of a man, and has not spoken a word since he was eleven. He has grown fascinated with masks and makes countless paper mache ones in his cell. During a transfer, Michael makes his escape, and after massacring everyone in the sanitarium, escapes. Dr. Loomis, who had recently given up on Michael, knows exactly where he is going, back home to Haddonfield, Illinois. Michael’s arrival quickly paints the town in dirty blood red, and he soon focuses his attention on Laurie Strode, his re-christened and adopted baby sister. Dr. Loomis knows that this is his target, but what he’ll do once he catches up to her is anyone’s guess. [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom ]

BRAINSCAN (1994) Michael (Edward Fulong) is the high school weirdo, a horror and video game fanatic who spend his time dwelling in his bedroom reading Fangoria and spying on the girl next door. When he receives a new video game in the mail, Brainscan, he is dubious of the game’s claim that it is the ultimate in fear. The game, and interactive CD-Rom that you play in your subconscious while hypnotized, forces you to act and think like a killer. After Michael plays the game, in which he murders a strange for no apparent reason, he discovers that someone in his neighborhood was killed in the exact same way. It is then that Trickster, a punked-out digital demon, literally emerges from the monitor to explain to Michael just what he has gotten himself into. Trickster acts as mentor, tormentor, and guide for Michael, as he pushes him to continue to play the game, and thus commit more murders. An out of town detective, Hayden (Frank Langella), is on the case of the murders though, and his intuition is pointing straight at Michael. To survive, Michael must play, but at what cost to him humanity and sanity?

It is 1994. Freddy is dead, Jason is in Hell, Michael hasn’t been seen in Haddonfield in over five years. The corporate world of horror needs a new gimmick-driven character. Enter Trickster, brought to the screen by complete unknown and eager-to-please T. Ryder Smith. This glammed-out, video game playing, alternative rock loving, quick-witted fiend is the perfect boardroom created hybrid for the early teen crowd to champion as their new hero. And in a time when interactive gaming and virtual reality was just getting off the ground, what better way to win his way in hearts of the youth than as some demented master of ceremonies to a deadly digital game of life and death? I guess someone forgot to mention that movies based on games (SUPER MARIO BROS) don’t do so well, and movies about people playing games (THE WIZARD) fare even worse! And as for video game playing bad guys (Freddy’s “power glove” antics), well lets not speak ill of the departed.

Eddie Furlong, sorry Edward Furlong, once again glooms and dooms across the screen hoping to keep some form of name recognition. After becoming the idol of many as the master of a Terminator, he quickly tried the patience of his fans with PET SEMATARY 2, and used up what little he had left as he voice-cracks along here. Granted, he has the perfect appearance for a character such as Michael, which is the best thing he has going for this flick. Frank Langella, who brings an air of professional acting to the otherwise fairly inexperienced and young cast, uses his steely gaze and distinct voice brings to command each scene he is in. Even when he is supposed to be playing a good guy, Langella’s unique screen presence still slants him toward evil. His omnipresent force against Michael, as well as being one of the few adult characters of importance, also sets up an underlying rebel-against-authority undertone.

Director John Flynn, whose multi-decade career has skirted along creating the lesser known flicks of Hollywood’s action mainstays, brings a professional eye to the production, but whose age serves as a detractor against the youth/pop-culture oriented script with a specific target audience in mind. His camera pans constantly across Michael’s stuff, including Fangoria, comic books, and horror posters. Every bedroom in movie has multiple Aerosmith and Metallica posters. Trickster energetically blasts Primus during his introduction scene. Flynn is just trying way to hard here to say “look, these characters like what you like. Associate with them!” And sadly, his coup-de-grace being his loving homage to the giallo genre during Michael’s POV murder using a knife while wearing black gloves probably went over everyone’s head during the film’s theatrical run. The script also treads into some “thinking” territory as it attempts to make a half-hearted discussion about how horror movies are just entertainment and escapism, which for a flick like this is just preaching to the choir, and again serves to only make the viewer associate with the character through like-minded beliefs.

BRAINSCAN has not aged well since its release. The laughably ludicrous and impossible gaming set-up still stings real gamers today as much as it did then, the infantile computer generated images are blatantly obvious and offer a glimpse of a latexless horror future to come, the insulting ending is a slap in the face cop-out, and the “I hope this makes money so there can be a sequel” coda reeks of marketing influence. Like flannel and tribal heavy metal necklaces, some movies are better left in the early nineties, where a fuzzy recollection can remember a one time cable TV viewing of this movie in a much more favorable light.

DEAD AND DEADER (2006) While on a Special Forces mission in Cambodia, Lt. Quinn (Dead Cain) and the rest of his small platoon are blown up in an abandoned research facility when they come across the remains of what appears to be a failed experiment. However, Quinn awakens two days later in an army base morgue just before an autopsy is performed on him. After several quick tests, it is determined that Quinn is still clinically dead. What is also quickly determined is that he alone has retained his cognitive and motor skills, while the rest of his team has become ravenous monsters hungry for human flesh.

Quinn attempts to destroy the creatures before they can cause more destruction, and in the process picks up an ally in the base’s chef, Judson (comedian Guy Torry). When they are incorrectly suspected of being the killers, they escape the base and try to keep a low profile. But the infected undead have been multiplying, and when they stampede the bar to get the “food” inside, Quinn and Judson pick up a third ally, the bartender Holly. From the bar, the trio head for the funeral home where the last dead soldier should be, hoping to put an end the nightmare. But in their way stands Dr. Scott (Peter Greene), who’s obsession with finding everlasting life to beat his cancer started the research in Cambodia!

In this made for the Sci-Fi Channel production, which gets just above its usual output by avoiding an abundance of CGI, a solid premise to bring the dead back to life is sadly destroyed by uneven pacing, forced comedic dialog, wince-inducing movie references within said dialog, and below standard acting. Dean Cain, who has fallen a long way from the Man Of Steel, does what he can with the material given, but does not make a very convincing soldier (Was Richard Dean Anderson busy? Don’t they own him?). Guy Torry does his best Martin Lawrence sidekick impression here, and mixes in a bit of DEEP BLUE SEA’s LL Cool J for some hammy spiritualism. The worst offender here though is Susan Ward as she attempts to channel Carmen Electra. Suspension of disbelief allows us to accept the dead can walk and that soldiers are allowed to have frost-tipped hair, but no amount of disbelief is going to gloss over that a character this hot is going to be quoting STAR WARS or talking about a thesis comparison of the two DAWN OF THE DEADs. It just isn’t happening.

What the movie does going for it is Peter Greene (who gets “and” status in the credits) who brings his classic subtly psychotic and creepy demeanor to the screen. Though he doesn’t get much screen time, he easily commands the scenes he gets and his brief character gets just enough back story to rise above one-dimensional villain. The other thing DEAD AND DEADER has going for it is the decent splatter and zombie effects. Throughout the movie we get a few get decapitations, some limb tearing, a hand in a meat grinder, some good head shots, and some good ol’ fashioned gut-munching. The subtle make-up effects for Dean Cain are emphasized just enough to whisper “remember, I’m supposed to be dead” and get displayed in his multiple shirtless scenes. And as with any low-budget creature feature, they save the best for last, which in this instance is an action packed finale with our heroes battle a literal army of the undead in the catacombs of the military base.

Director Patrick Dinhut comes out of nowhere to make this his directorial debut. Dinhut has no other credits other than this picture, and the final product definitely shows. But Dinhut isn’t the only one at fault. Screenwriter credit is evenly distributed between Mark A Altman, who gave the world both HOUSE OF THE DEAD movies, and Steven Kriozere, who is responsible for scripts to the television shows V.I.P., Team Knight Rider and several cartoon series. It is no wonder the entire picture is so disjointed, it has dueling personalities vying for style and attitude. A bit of shoddy editing, especially during the fade outs to where the commercials would have been during the television broadcast, keep the viewer firmly planted in the mindset that this was made TV. Underneath the time-padding material and out-of-place comedy, is a pretty good zombie tale worthy of being told in an hour-long horror anthology. Unfortunately, the only thing scary about this movie is that it was not told in this manner.

ROBOCOP (1987) It is the late nineties in Detroit. Crime has reached an all-time high. The police, try as they might, are powerless to put a dent in the downward spiral of the city. OCP, a corporate conglomerate, who has recently taken charge over local law enforcement, takes the next step in an attempt to reclaim the city and puts into operation RoboCop, an experimental officer that uses the mind of recently killed officer Murphy and puts it into a hulking robotic body. RoboCop is sent out into the streets to clean it up, but when he comes face-to-face with the psychopathic criminals who executed him, it begins to fire up memories of his past. From RoboCop’s data crunching CPU comes the faces and dreams of Murphy, which were thought to be erased. As the rest of the police force goes on strike, RoboCop sets out on a one man war to put an end to the corruption that plagues Detroit.

Audiences were lured in to the theatres with the tag line “part man, part machine, all cop” and the expectation of highly-stylized violence. What they got was a cynical look, gingerly sprinkled with dark humor, at the future of America - a future littered with big business, unstoppable crime, complete corruption of the system, and shallow consumers eager to eat up whatever they were told to buy. Most successfully made movies will hint at what it will be about within the first five minutes of the movie. Director Paul Verhoeven, working from a script and story by first time writers Edward Neumeier and Michael Miner, chooses to spend his first five minutes watching television and in the boardroom of OCP.

Verhoeven, using a plot not unlike FRANKENSTEIN as a creation struggles to find independence and free thought for the backdrop, completely skewers the media here, as violence is sensationalized by an almost inhuman and completely unsympathetic broadcasters, and spoonfed in easy to digest sound and video bites. The plot is also moved along via interspersed news broadcasts of RoboCop’s exploits. And what news broadcast would be complete without commercials? Verhoeven takes time to look at products of the future, which includes an American car that proudly gets 8.2 MPG (”big is back!”) and the Battleship-esque game Nukem (”get them before they get you!”). What is truly frightening about this look into the future is that present-day television has far surpassed Verhoeven’s jaded take on it.

However, ROBOCOP does offer its viewers the base violence and gore that viewers eagerly expected from the hedonistic and blood-drenched action pictures of the 80’s. It is ironic that while the film condemns those attracted to violence it also serves up some of the most graphically grotesque effects to come out of the era. These were so graphic that ROBOCOP was threatened with an X unless it was trimmed. These now legendary shots, which include Murphy’s decimating murder by multiple shotguns wounds and a chillingly real bullet to the head, and the extended slaughter of a boardroom executive by the hulking robot ED-209, were almost completely erased during the film’s theatrical run. Whispers of these rumored full scenes floated through had to wait to be seen until home release on laserdisc and later on DVD courtesy of Criterion and currently MGM (pick up the current release at Amazon). And even after twenty years, these have hardly aged, thanks to the superior efforts of film’s special effects team.

It is this crew that also brings the heroic RoboCop to the screen, and what a fantastic job they do. In an age where a Commodore Amiga was used for digital effects, in-camera practical effects were what was needed to bring science-fiction to life. Created by wizard Rob Bottin, who previously worked on THE THING and would later go on to TOTAL RECALL and FIGHT CLUB among others, the RoboCop suit is a marvel to look at, and has a real-world functionality to it that does not seem that far-fetched. The results of his hard labor would land him several award nominations, and a win for special effects from the Academy Of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Film.

But without the physical acting and presence of star Peter Weller, it is just a costume. Weller, who only spends about ten minutes of the film as a human, ties the entire world the film takes place in together. If he is not believable, everything else falls apart. Fortunately, Weller pulls off an amazing performance, evoking emotion, expression and thought process through gestures and facial expressions. When his face, which is cover for most of the film, is finally revealed, Weller turns his eyes into heartbreaking wells of sadness. He has been forced into this role, and must come to terms with what he has become.

The blending of science-fiction, graphic violence and social commentary would become a trademark of the Netherlands imported director, who was previously known only for his erotic outings in the 70’s, if he was known at all. The director even turned down this movie at first, only later reconsidering at the behest of his wife. It is strange to think where, if at all, the ROBOCOP phenomenon and even Verhoeven’s career would be had he not listened to her. Thankfully, the final outcome has left the world a thoroughly entertaining slice of cinema that is as relevant today in the middle of a media-obsessed culture with corporate-government hybrid running things as it was when first released in the midst of Reagan’s years. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

THE GRAVEDANCERS (2006) Three friends, Harris, Kira and Sid, are reunited after several years of lapse communication for a friend’s funeral. That evening, they return to the cemetery to say goodbye one last time. While heavily drinking, the trio begin to dance around the graves at the behest of a strange letter left on the tombstone calling for the living to live in the moment. But their midnight reveling takes a frightening turn, when all three begin to experience paranormal activity in their home. A local paranormal investigator begins an investigation, and soon discover that the three friends, along with Harris’ wife Allison, have become cursed by three vengeful spirits who have been brought back to the land of the living due to final resting places being desecrated. A clue hidden within the poem, The Gravedancers’ Lament, tells that the ghosts have one lunar cycle to lay their victim’s to rest. The group, who are now dealing with more severe hauntings every night, make a desperate attempt to stop the spirits in their tracks, but will it work?

In an modern age of supernatural skepticism, TV shows dealing with paranormal communicating, ghost hunting, and of course long-haired spirits from the Far East haunting cinema screens, it was bound to happen that a new successfully done and truly frightening American ghost story would materialize before us. Mike Mendez, along with first-time writers Brade Keene and Chris Skinner, conjure up such a story. Along for the ride are Dominic Purcell (TV’s Prison Break), Josie Maran (VAN HELSING), Clare Kramer (of TV’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer) and the second coolest imported Frenchman, Tcheky Karyo.

Scribes Keene and Skinner show their weaknesses early on in the film, as they set up the characters’ relationships and attempt to draw sympathy from the viewers. Their somewhat flat dialog, fails to fully enrapture the audience into caring for the main characters, but fortunately it is almost entirely dropped once the hauntings begin, save for a few down moments toward the end of the film. Within the story, the newly freed spirits grow in strength every day. So early on in the film, they are but invisible apparitions, and set up some of the best spook scenes of the movie. Doors creak open, water pipes make awful sounds and pianos play themselves. This is the stuff of classic haunted houses, and Mendez gives us several great setups to get the mood and atmosphere flowing.

As the ghosts grow more powerful, so do their abilities to frighten and attempt to murder the cursed trio. In turn, Mendez amps up the atmosphere, and sets up some new chills, which builds and leads to the final showdown in the mansion of the investigator. It is here that the ghosts finally have the strength to materialize and show themselves. These ghosts are twisted and evil, and their appearance is more so. Mendez opts for classic prosthetic make-up, and introduces his eternally lipless smiling apparitions from the dark corners of the halls. Of the three, the most time is spent on the female ghost, Emma, who floats just above the ground, dragging her toes, wielding an ax and starts whittling down the survivors. The other two, a sadistic and inhumanly strong old man, and a pint-sized pyromaniac terror, help to give some added and varied frights to the ax-swinging madwoman. The ending, which all-but eliminates that atmospheric shadows and reality-warping spectres, turns into some hybrid-spawn of EVIL DEAD II and POLTERGEIST, that goes for some cheap amusements rather than a truly diabolical stand-off it should be.

This was released in the theatres, and is now on DVD, as part of the 8 Films To Die For fright fest. There is nothing truly unique or new here, but still the energy and wave-length that everyone is on provide a solid production with great chilling and fun atmosphere perfect for a big bowl of popcorn and dim lighting. You’ll forget all about 1999’s pair of letdowns THE HAUNTING and HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL if they still linger in your memory when the first bars of Chopin start floating through the air.

Buy It Now
On Amazon.com

THE FILMS

PLANET TERROR (2007) A chemical weapon has been unintentionally released on an unsuspecting town in Texas. Soon, citizen everywhere, once contaminated, start bubbling and decomposing at a rapid rate, and anyone is comes in contact with those already infected become hopelessly infected themselves. As the town completely turns on its head, a few survivors who have kept their cool and joined together to put an end to the epidemic travel from the local hospital, to a rundown shack with the best BBQ in Texas, and finally the abandoned military base, which isn’t so abandoned after all!

Robert Rodriguez, whose previous films would have easily found action-seeking audiences in the 1970’s, goes completely ballistic here, making no excuses, no apologies and holding nothing back as he unravels his over-the-top zombie tale. Rodriguez’ homage here pulls and pay tribute to the Italian zombie cycle of films - particularly Lucio Fulci’s ZOMBI 2 and CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, Umberto Lenzi’s NIGHTMARE CITY and Bruno Mattei’s HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD - while still making a unique and new zombie film that will be enjoyed by gorehounds for years to come. Rodriguez really pores on the goo, yucks, blood n’ guts here and loves every minute of it! And as with all horror flicks of this nature, below the surface level is the prerequisite between-the-lines warning and stance against experimental weapons and the collapse of society.

All of the actors onboard, many of whom found their start in lower-budget horror films, play their parts to a “T”. Rose McGowan, as the long-legged go-go dancer Cherry Darling, is the main protagonist here and whose story we follow the most. Co-stars Freddy Rodriguez (of TV’s Six Feed Under) and Naveen Andrews (of TV’s Lost) get some good screen time in as well. Freddy Rodriguez in particular, who plays the mysterious Wray, gets to dish out some grin-inducing pain and destruction. Several surprise cameos (which will remain surprises here) round out an ensamble cast. It may be cliche, but everyone on screen looks like their having a blast doing what they’re doing, and commits themselves wholeheartedly to the story, no matter how ludicrous it gets. And when you consider “the gun”, which comes into play in the final act, it gets pretty damn ludicrous.

Rodriguez makes a welcome return to horror here after his last foray with THE FACULTY, and is a welcome dish of splatterfest fun that even at its grisliest is still somehow quaint when compared to contemporary torture-horror. But quaint is by no means cute, as several scenes will have some of the weaker-willed and unprepared feeling a bit of bile in the back of their throats, and girlfriends everywhere will have their faces buried in their uncontrollably-smiling boyfriends’ shoulders.

DEATH PROOF (2007) Stuntman Mike (Kurt Fuckin’ Russell) is a psychopathic car driver with a devilish grin, a soft-spoken voice, and a grudge against groups of cute girls. In a small Austin bar, Mike starts talking with a local radio DJ and her friends, who are not quite sure what to make of him. After a night of drinking, the women go on their way, with Stuntman Mike in his 100% death proof Chevy Nova ghost riding behind them, waiting for the time to strike. Stuntman Mike then finds himself in Tennessee, where his next targeted victims, are joy-riding around in an equally powerful muscle car. But when Mike goes in for the kill, he is unprepared for the equally wild woman behind the wheel and her two friends.

Quentin Tarantino brings the world another dialog-heavy conversation film here, this time dealing with two groups of female friends dishing out lines dealing with old films, obscure music (Tarantino once again puts together one hell of a soundtrack), and relationship troubles. This time around though, there are no quirky one-liners or phrases that will instantly be injected into the American lexicon, but it flows much more naturally within the context of the characters. Tarantino’s camera is always moving slowly and fluidly around the conversation sequences, giving the eye something to keep occupied while the ear listens.

During the two main action sequences, though, things really kick into gear. Tarantino has definitely done his care chase homework here, using lots of car-hugging angles and low-riding shots to really put you into the scenes. Everything was shot using real cars and real stunt work, which is certainly a breath of fresh air in the age of CGI races that look like they’ve been pulled out of the latest Need For Speed video game. The final sequence, which must last a solid ten minutes, is awe-inspiring, death-defying movie-making, and features stuntwoman Zoe Bell riding on the hood of a car the entire time, and two cars slowly demolishing each other with each metal-on-metal crunch.

DEATH PROOF, unfortunately, is a bit uneven, due to the sudden start-stop flow from a conversation around a diner table to an adrenaline pumping car chase. Imagine splicing the chase sequence from BULLITT into the middle of a Gilmore Girls episode. You should get the idea. At the end of it all though, this is pure Tarantino, and if it were not released as part of GRINDHOUSE, it would not be hailed as a 70’s style throwback, it would simply be the next Tarantino movie.

THE TRAILERS

Like any double feature worth its weight, this one delivers trailers for four non-existent movies packed between the two main films. Rodriguez brings us MACHETE, a story about a double-crossed Mexican assassin. Next up is Rob Zombie’s WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS, a nazi exploitation flick that gives a much-need edge of sleaze the experience. Edgar Wright delivers DON’T, about the killings in an old mansion. Finally Eli Roth serves up THANKSGIVING, dealing with a black-clad killer slaughtering away on the holiday. All four of these fall into the “they don’t make them like this anymore” category, and the MPAA would most likely shit a brick before approving these trailers. Rumors are currently circulating that MACHETE may wind up actually being made, and the rest of these faux films would easily find their viewers if they ever say the light of day.

THE FEEL

In order to complete the grindhouse timewarp, both movies, the fake trailers, and the cue cards are all digitally scratched, scraped, smudged and beat to hell. Rodriguez goes a little overboard during PLANET TERROR, and may become more a distraction than an addition for anyone who has forgotten the time before all movies were perfectly printed and digitally projected in THX certified theatres. DEATH PROOF is a little more restrained, but Tarantino does a neat trick by poorly “splicing” each reel together, which causes the screen go blue and the sound to go out of sync for a few seconds. The classic cue cards announcing the “coming attractions” and “feature presentation” and the cute cartoons bits warning these films are for “restricted audiences” keeps the mood going. The only thing that could have improved the experience were if they bussed in real derelicts and hookers to hang out in the theatre, or if they purposely poured soda on the floor.

It is obviously clear that everyone involved is in love with a by-gone era of sleaze and trash being shown on the screen, and all-but-extinct experience of “surviving” a trip to the local rundown movie theatre. This is what going to the movies should be like, and perhaps this will reawaken a monster which has grown dormant in all of us that demands that a trip to the movies is a fun and unique experience that can only be had by going to the actual theatre. If you can just let yourself go, this will probably be the most enjoyable three-hour stretch at the movies this year. Just be sure to see it with as little knowledge of what is about to unfold as possible.

PUMP UP THE VOLUME (1990) By day new-in-town Mark is a reclusive high school student with no friends and even less social skills. But by night, hidden behind a microphone on his pirate radio station he runs out of his bedroom, Mark becomes Hard Harry, a voice for the town’s angst-filled youth. His take-no-prisoners attitude stirs up his fellow classmates, who in turn begin to stand up against the authoritarian rule of the principle, who has been expelling students right and left in order to secretly build up the school’s test scores to get more funding. Mark, who only wanted to reach out via the airwaves to be heard, soon finds himself way over his head as school officials close in on him and the FCC comes to town in order to stop his pirate broadcasting. But as Hard Harry, he knows that he must follow through to the bitter end to finish what he started.

On the heels of the Reagan years and an era that spurned some brilliantly angry voices and music, comes this rallying call for the voiceless to stand up and really make themselves known. This is one of those right-time-right-place movies that really captured the uneasy and unaccepted feelings that were flowing through the tail-end of the official Gen-X revolution. Christian Slater, who the year before won over girls’ hearts everywhere as a psychopathic teen in HEATHERS, takes on his first top-starring role here and completely nails the character. Though his devilish looks makes it just a tad hard to swallow that his character would not be instantly accepted within the ranks, his transformation into the introverted Mark more than makes up for it.

Slater’s supporting cast makes the movie very easy to feel like you are a fly on the wall of the high school. These actors look the part and great attention is given to making a cross-section of high school life. These characters are given just enough screen time that they breakaway from being stereotypes in the background to real kids who happen to be geeks, brains, punks, jocks, and princesses. Mark’s parents, as well as the some of the supporting cast’s parents, are given enough screen time to present them as mostly well meaning but clueless as to what their offspring are going through. Mark’s angry rants, which come off somewhat as junior-league Denis Leary monologues, are certainly passionate, if not a little misguided. But hey that’s hormones for you. Older viewers may find that Mark’s words bring up faded memories of years gone by. Today’s youth, however, may not be able to identify with it (you tell me). This is after all the voice of a previous generation of teenagers.

Pairing perfectly with the angry vocal undertones of the film lies an even angrier soundtrack. Leonard Cohen’s dismally depressing yet thoroughly brilliant “Everybody Knows” plays as the central theme song to the movie, playing several times during throughout. College radio heroes The Pixies, Soundgarden and Sonic Youth lend their fully distorted guitar work, while the Bad Brains team up with Henry Rollins for an growling cover of MC5’s “Kick Out The Jams”.

Director and writer Allan Moyle, who would later give angry youth a bubble-gum makeover with EMPIRE RECORDS, does a pretty solid job of capturing the murmur of his subjects. Not since perhaps FAST TIME AT RIDGEMONT HIGH has high school seems so real on screen. (Both of course would be trumped by the criminally short-lived television show My So-Called Life). Moyle’s direction is subtle, and his cinematic angles and choices give the feeling that the camera was just left on and recorded these scenes as they naturally happened. Only briefly does the film betray these notions as it turns to an almost hyper-reality, whose only purposes are to move the story to an end point.

At the end of the day, PUMP UP THE VOLUME has but one universal message that will always be true - everyone has a voice and everyone deserves to be heard and listened to. In today’s age, with massive digital peer communities and more ways to communicate than ever needed, getting your voice heard only takes a few strokes at the keyboard, a few button pushes on a blackberry or a cheap webcam. But with millions of voices shouting at once, the easier it is to be heard, the harder it becomes. Amongst those millions are a few voices that are “talking hard” and struggling to make a difference. Mark, where ever his character is today, would be proud, and is probably broadcasting on some remote website as we speak.

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973) A modern Shaolin monk, Lee (Bruce Lee) is recruited by British Intelligence to go undercover in a martial arts tournament hosted by Han on his private island to find the proof they need to destroy his international drug operation. Among the other contestants is a bankrupt businessman Roper (John Saxon) running from a sizable debt in America and Williams (Jim Kelly), a bad-ass African-American kung-fu expert with an unorthodox fighting method. Once on the island, the contestants are treated to luxurious foods, exotic women, and the toughest competitors they’ve ever faced. At night, Lee explores the island hoping to find the evidence he needs. But when Lee’s true motives are discovered, he will have to face down against Han’s entire martial arts trained army with fists of fury, feet of strength and any weapons he can get a hold of!

It has been over thirty years since Bruce Lee died, with this being his final film role, and his popularity has never budged an inch. After one viewing of ENTER THE DRAGON, you’ll understand why. Lee had a screen presence, charisma and physical stature that is still yet to be challenged in the world of martial arts films. Few have come close, including Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and the new kid on the block Ton Jaa, but there is something about Lee that is unique. Perhaps it is that he is one of a select handful of humans that have been able to reach the true apex of both human physical form and balanced spirituality that strikes a chord. He was and is still an inspiration to those that were lucky enough to meet him, and for any those who watch his movies.

ENTER THE DRAGON provided a glimpse into both Lee’s philosophical mind, through his monologues eluding to the fighting style Jeet Kune Do he developed over his years of training, and the skilled action filmmaker that was forming within his head. All of the fight choreography was designed by Lee, and performed by his stunt team (which included a very young Chan and Sammo Hung) with deadly precision. Each fight sequence brought something new and exciting to the screen, from hand-to-hand combat to weaponplay, and tournament style fighting to all out brawls. The final showdown, which takes place in a room covered in mirrors and features Lee’s now iconic claw-scratched body, is still used today to compare against films.

Lee and his stunt team can not be held solely responsible for the pure enjoyment of this film. His co-stars play an crucial part in bringing this together. On the hero side, both John Saxon (perhaps best known as Nancy’s father in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET) and Jim Kelly (a titan in the 70’s blaxploitation market) show off their real life martial arts training and acting chops and provide some great oneliners throughout the picture. On the villain’s side, Shih Kien, who was a Hong Kong character actor that reveled in the roles of evildoers, and Bolo Yeung (a former Mr. Hong Kong and an all around Chinese brute to be reckoned with) ham it up just a bit. It is clear that everyone really enjoyed being a part of this movie, and had a sense that this was going to be a movie that went down in history. The city of Hong Kong itself plays an important role within the film, adding an exotic spice to the scenery. From the neon-filled downtown streets, to the outskirt villages and Kowloon Harbor, it is almost impossible to find a bad angle to shoot.

This film marked the first American/Chinese co-production, and was the debut of Bruce Lee to a mainstream US audience. It must have been something for those audiences, seeing for the first time Bruce Lee fighting across the screen like a madman, and witnessing action scenarios that they may have never seen before. For modern martial arts fans who have “seen it all”, it is incredibly difficult to try and grasp the thought of what was going through their heads seeing Lee. The story itself is rather slim, and created in a blender using b-movie spy movie clichés, martial arts themes and violence, and a dash exploitation, but fills in the spaces between the action nicely.

In the wake of Bruce Lee’s death, a micro sub-genre emerged, which was dubbed “Bruceploitation”. This genre was filled with actors who tried to looked liked Bruce Lee and had names such as Bruce Le and Bruce Li, with filmmakers hoping to cash in on the fame of the true Lee. All it takes though is one look at this movie and the rest of the short but impressive filmography of Lee to know that these imposters simply can’t match the energy and speed that Lee brought to his fans. Lee’s accidental death is a tragedy that robbed the world a unique visionary. Had he gone on past ENTER THE DRAGON, which no doubt would have made him the first Chinese mainstream movie star, there is no telling what he would have brought not only to the silver screen, but those the minds and ears of any who would listen to his philosophy.

On Saint Patrick’s Day, in a South Boston bar, two Irish brothers, Connor and Murphy,  are having a few rounds with their friends, when a few Russian mafia soldiers step in and threaten the good time.  The next morning, FBI agent Paul Smecker (Willem Dafoe) is brought in to investigate two dead Russian mafia soldiers found in an alley. As he makes his way through the evidence, almost clairvoyantly piecing together what happened, he is unaware that Connor and Murphy, who until the previous night were just meat packers, have taken the spontaneous barfight as a message from God, to begin a vengeful elimination of the evil men in the world, starting with Boston’s criminal underground.

With help from their friend Rocco, a low level delivery boy in the Italian mob who has just been betrayed by his boss, the two brothers begin to target the higher-ups.  Italain boss Poppa Joe, who now fears for his life, calls in Il Duce (Scottish comedian Billy Connolly in a chilling reverse typecast) a merciless killer who has just been released from jail to eliminate the two brothers.  All the while, Smecker, who has finally figured out who his mysterious killers are, becomes torn between upholding the law or standing aside to let the two brothers continue to purge the city of villains.

Seven years before Martin Scorcese took a baseball bat to the kneecaps of South Boston’s ethnic organized crime syndicates, an unknown writer and director, Troy Duffy, gave it a few good pistol whips with this debut film (and at the time of this writing, his only movie). Unfortunately, as the film was being prepared to be released, two brats in Colorado decided it would be a good idea to storm their school armed to their teeth with guns. In the ensuing aftermath, THE BOONDOCK SAINTS was practically shelved due to its graphic violence and vengeful themes. The film was released quietly on a few screens, and then dumped onto DVD almost three years later. For lesser films, this would be its final death toll. However, great films will find their audience no matter the circumstances, and after several years of churning in the waters and building up word-of-mouth, this movie has found its embracing audience.

Troy Duffy, along with some helpful flare from b-movie cinematographer Adam Kane, brings to life some unusual characters in some very unusual circumstances, which play out in a stylish and non-linear timeline, that seems new and exciting even in the midst of the “Tarantino-influenced” 90’s crime-action movie glut.  Much of this credit though is due, not from the time-jumping itself, but from the performance from supporting actor Willem Dafoe, whose FBI character Smecker is tracking the citywide crime syndicate slayings.  The movie follows a back and forth pattern, as it chronicles the two brothers up until just before they begin their rampage.  Time then jumps forward to the aftermath, where Smecker deduces what he believes has happened.  It then jumps back in time and divulges what actually happened.  It is an interesting timeframe setup, made all the more enjoyable by Dafoe, whose already off-kilter Smecker slowly creeps into absurdity as he attempts to piece together the increasingly bizarre crime scene.

While Dafoe does steal the show here, the two main heroes, Connor and Murphy, played by Sean Patrick Flanery (of THE ADVENTURES OF YOUNG INDIANA JONES fame) and Norman Reedus pull off a commendable job as the two lovable, multi-lingual Catholic killers, who eloquently quote the bible scripture, Irish family prayers they are given, and portray a brotherly love and bond that most siblings would be jealous of.  Their devilish good looks may also get some of the more squeamish female viewers through the graphic violence, which delivers in spades.  The rest of the cast is pulled right out of every other mob movie made in the past twenty years.  They know their lot in movie acting and do a fine job a cannon fodder.  Also, keep an eye out for the Hedgehog himself, Ron Jeremy, in a brief cameo.

Beneath the surface layer of the brutal, yet somehow beautiful, action and the splattering of blood that is the very essence and base for the argument against glorified violence, lies an even more dangerous open-ended question that will be inescapable for even the most casual viewer of the film - can there be justifiable homicide?  Wrath, being your reviewer’s favorite sin, and the judgment of God plays a key role in the brothers’ decision to do what they do, and when a loose code of honor is created amongst the two to murder only bad guys, it creates an additional layer of questioning.  The film is smart in that it does not try to answer the question, and even puts doubt within Connor and Murphy even as they release soul after soul to the afterlife.  In a post-script to the film, under the closing credits, passer-bys on the street are asked what they think of the media dubbed Saints, which range from placing them on pedestals to condemning them to damnation.  Within the film broad strokes are made for both sides of the argument, and it’ll be up to you to put the fine touches on the canvas.

For months I have watched and waited patiently in the darkness.  I saw the production sketches, I saw the leaked photos, and reserved judgment until I could see the full length trailer.  I would like to take the opportunity to now say…

FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY.  And dare I say it, FUCK YOU SPEILBERG.

This is *not* a Transformers (capital “T” and trademarked) movie.  This is a movie about giant transforming robots (note the lower case letters).  I understand that some minor changes would need to be made.  I can live with some of the vehicle modifications.  But their robot forms?!  Transformers are not insectoids.  Tranformers do not look like T-800 endo-skeletons with a few car parts attached.  Transfomers are not lanky.

I would like to take this moment to say that the trailer does look cool, even if it does feature classic Michael Bay style editing, where he can’t hold on a shot for more than two seconds.  You can not get much better than giant transforming robots (again note the lower case letters) smashing their way across America.  I freely admit this.  But what they have done to Transfomers is a travesity.  The dude does not abide.

There is only one TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE.  It is animated, came out in 1986, and had the guts to murder an icon to children worldwide.

Will I see “Michael Bay’s Transformers”?  Yes.  Will I enjoy it for its brutal robot fighting action, mindless destruction, and what I pray is a high human death toll?  Hell yes.  Will I cringe each time they use the names Optimus Prime, Bumbleebee, Megatron, Starscream, etc?  You better fucking believe I will.