Sayonara Cinema

The Boys Vol. 1: The Name Of The Game

Written by Garth Ennis
Illustrated by Darick Robertson
Covers by Robertson and Avina
DC Comics/Wildstorm & Dynamite Entertainment

Who watches the supers? Butcher, that’s who. Billy Butcher. An English gent employed by the CIA to keep an eye on all the horrible deeds that superheroes do when they are not on camera, or get away with when they are on camera simply because of the recognition. Butcher hates supers. And with a very good personal reason. And when he gets a chance to do some damage, whether it be stomping some superhero or pulling some of darkest humored pranks on them, Butcher and his team, known and feared as The Boys, are the best at what they do.

In the mid-nineties, Garth Ennis produced one of the most startling and blasphemous looks at Christianity with his absolutely perfect Preacher. Now, Ennis sets his eyes on tearing down the dogmatic beliefs in the superhero genre, destroying anything wholesome that can be associated with the term “hero,” and even eliminates the wide diversity of where all these supers originate from with one fell swoop of a word bubble. The first splash page of the first issue should give a hint at exactly what Ennis is going to do to superheroes, as a huge black boot comes smashing down on the already battered skull of a generic masked super, presumably killing him. His pen is a sharp as the words he puts to paper, and if you get too close, he will make you bleed. This is the bus we’ve climbed onto, with that mad Irishman Ennis at the wheel, a half bottle of drank Bushmill’s in his hand with full intentions of finishing it. [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom]

Chaos Campus: Sorority Girls vs. Zombies - Preview Issue #1
If you ever wondered what a Double-D sporting Buffy would look like as a zombie slayer, this would be it.

Scorn #1
Sorrow. Vengeance. Anger. Loneliness. Rage. These are the emotions that have plagued the life of Michael, a vigilante who’s lost everything in his quest for revenge.

The Evil Inside #1
This premiere issue sets the stage for a six-issue miniseries of horror-influenced “gotcha!” short stories.

Spectrum #2
Peter Simeti returns with his one-man created comic, picking up the story of Glass and The Sponsor, as one tries to protect life and one tries to destroy it.

The Chair #2
Picking up right where issue one left off, the tale of an innocent man on death row who’s fast learning the meaning of Hell on Earth continues.

Has there been a void in your life since 12/31/1995? If so, then you need to pay particular attention to my newest review at Geeks Of Doom. This may be the best comic I’ve read since reviewing for them…

Webcomics. You know ‘em, you love ‘em, you read ‘em when you should be working on some menial spreadsheet in your cubicle. Most out there are worth browsing through a few of the strips, maybe getting a chuckle or two, and moving on without bothering to bookmark. However, there are a few out there worth bookmarking, following, bugging your friends to read, and cursing the gods that the creators don’t publish on a daily rather than a weekly basis. One of these is a new comic that has been slowly growing since the beginning of this year, Boxcar Astronaut.
Boxcar Astronaut is a weekly, four-panel black and white strip that follows the backyard adventures of Ben, a young sprout who is never without his trusty space helmet. Along for the fun is his trusty dog Diogee, his best friend Devin, and recent acquisition Robot, a real robot from outer space that has become stranded on Earth. [Read The Rest Of The Review]

Looking for some cool independent comics to discover while figuring out which movie to watch next? Check out these recent reviews from those ne’er-do-wells Geeks Of Doom!

Spectrum #1
Pulling from a huge assortment of comic book influences and reality-grounded sci-fi riffs, Spectrum creates a blend that will draw in both superhero fans and enthusiasts of character-based revenge tales.

Xombie: Reanimated #3
It is the year 2052. Humanity has been reduced to a small huddling mass hiding in enclaves with machines that disguise their scent. One of these survivors is Zoe, a girl once thought lost who returns to her camp with a most unlikely protector — a sentient zombie named Dirge.

The Chair #1
An innocent man on death row is about to learn the true meaning of Hell on Earth in this intriguing first issue.

Henry and Butcher #1
Sets up what should turn out to be a hard-boiled mystery, with plenty of face-pounding and arm-breaking violence.

Abigail & Rox One-Shot
This fairy tale story has a great blend of original and familiar characters that appeal to people of all ages.

For months I have watched and waited patiently in the darkness.  I saw the production sketches, I saw the leaked photos, and reserved judgment until I could see the full length trailer.  I would like to take the opportunity to now say…

FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY.  And dare I say it, FUCK YOU SPEILBERG.

This is *not* a Transformers (capital “T” and trademarked) movie.  This is a movie about giant transforming robots (note the lower case letters).  I understand that some minor changes would need to be made.  I can live with some of the vehicle modifications.  But their robot forms?!  Transformers are not insectoids.  Tranformers do not look like T-800 endo-skeletons with a few car parts attached.  Transfomers are not lanky.

I would like to take this moment to say that the trailer does look cool, even if it does feature classic Michael Bay style editing, where he can’t hold on a shot for more than two seconds.  You can not get much better than giant transforming robots (again note the lower case letters) smashing their way across America.  I freely admit this.  But what they have done to Transfomers is a travesity.  The dude does not abide.

There is only one TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE.  It is animated, came out in 1986, and had the guts to murder an icon to children worldwide.

Will I see “Michael Bay’s Transformers”?  Yes.  Will I enjoy it for its brutal robot fighting action, mindless destruction, and what I pray is a high human death toll?  Hell yes.  Will I cringe each time they use the names Optimus Prime, Bumbleebee, Megatron, Starscream, etc?  You better fucking believe I will.       

Back in 1994, Corman created a movie version of THE FANTASTIC FOUR that was nigh-unwatchable and never meant to be released (unbeknownst to most of the cast and crew).

Here, Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom are working on collecting cosmic radiation during their college years. When the experiment fails, Victor is presumed dead in the accident, and Richards commits his life to completing the project. Ten years later, he succeeds in creating a spaceship, and enlists Ben Grimm to fly the shuttle and brings along Sue and Johnny Storm to help navigate. Meanwhile, Doom is still vey much alive and bent on destroying Richards. When the Reed’s mission fails, the four are bombarded with the rays, and soon discover they have been given their famous super powers. When Doom learns that the four are still alive, he sets out on a plan to recreate the experiment and hopefully to acquire all four powers in himself.

Let’s get down to the bad and hokey shall we? If there was any proof needed that costumes on paper do not directly translate to costumes on celluloid, this is it. Doom almost gets away with it, but the classic blue costumes of the four look rediculous. Richard’s trademark white temples look painted on with whiteout. The fully transformed Thing is obviously a heavly foam and latex suit (ever see rock ripple like fabric?).

The effects here are just laughable. From Richard’s stretching (how do normal clothes stretch when he does?) to Storm’s invisibility (how do you get invisibility wrong?) to Johnny’s climactic full-body flame-on (video games look more realistic) this is student-filmmaking at its best. Seriously, some of the fanfilms coming out nowadays look more professional than this.

What this film does have though, is heart, and a true desire to literally translate a comic book into the film world. Remember, this was made in the age of Dolph Lungren’s THE PUNISHER, the direct-to-video CAPTAIN AMERICA and the X-Men TV spin-off GENERATION X among others, and filmmakers and producers had yet to learn and capitalize off of Bryan Singer’s X-MEN and Sam Raimi’s groundbreaking SPIDER-MAN.

Highlights to watch for include the clumsy Fantasic Four moniker being bestowed, and the out-of-nowhere catch-phrase “it’s clobbering time” being uttered at least three times, and a zero-to-sixty in five seconds romance between Grimm and the blind Alicia Masters.

Make this a double feature with the big-budget release, and decide for yourself which is more fantasticer. Sadly, it is probably this one.