Sayonara Cinema

ALONE (2007) When Pim’s mother falls fatally ill, she is forced to return to Thailand from Korea to oversee her care. Along with her is her Thai boyfriend Wee. Pim (Masha Wattanapanich), who is the sole survivor of conjoined twins, is thrown face first into her old life as both painful and beautiful memories resurface when she and Wee move into her old house. In Pim’s old room, her and her sister Ploy’s clothes still hang, each set lovingly hand-sewed together by their mother.

But Pim’s return brings back not just distant memories, but it seems as if Ploy’s spirit has also returned to seek revenge against Pim. But Pim is the only one who has seen the face of Ploy in mirrors and reflections, and Wee believes that it is merely stress which are bringing upon these hallucinations. Pim visits Wee’s psychologist friend, who comes to the same conclusion as Wee, but with Pim’s visions become more frequent and more violent, she is utterly convinced that Ploy is after her. Has Ploy truly returned from the dead, or is Pim merely falling down a spiral staircase of madness? [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom]

THE UNTOLD STORY (1993) In Macau, the discovery of some severed limbs in the bay begin an investigation by the local inept police department. Through sheer luck, they discover clues that lead them to the Eight Immortals Restaurant, and the cook/owner Wong Chi-Hang (Anthony Wong). They believe that Wong may be guilty of killing the family, and when they discover the shred of evidence they need, they arrest him, and through unrelenting police beatings, Wong finally submits and tells his tale. But what he tells them, which includes the horrific murders of the family, and what he did with the bodies, is beyond anything they are prepared to hear.

Deftly mixing extreme gore, shocking brutality, the blackest of humor, and lowbrow comedy that can only come from Hong Kong, writer/director Herman Yau cooks up a dish that is the perfect recipe for cult status. Most shocking of all, though, is that the tale of Wong Chi-Hang is based on a true story, which Yau investigated extensively to stay as true to the real events as possible. With the then newly created “Category III” movie rating in Hong Kong (the equivalent of NC-17), Yau was able to push his shocks further than any director previously could, and portray Wong’s psychopathic acts without much fear of censoring. The results could make the unsuspecting queasy, nauseous , disgusted, and maybe even all three at once.

Yau, though, in his wisdom, realized that these vile actions need to be balanced, and so he concocted a bumbling, moronic and sex-crazed police force to act as a relief. The result is a little jarring to those unaccustomed with the Hong Kong comedy style, but it does make the film a little easier to swallow (no pun intended) and does make for some great bits. Try to think Beavis, Butt-Head, Jim Carrey and John Belushi all trying to work together to catch Ted Bundy or Ed Gein. It is a blend that inconceivably works, as if this were the rule to crime-horror writing, rather than the exception.

Upon its release, THE UNTOLD STORY was taken quite seriously. While such a film would have been relegated to some obscure direct-to-DVD release if made in America, in Hong Kong it was given praise, and even netted Anthony Wong a Best Actor Award for 1994. His complete metamorphosis into the deranged killer is mesmerizing, and the cruelty his is able to conjure up, while over-the-top, seems natural amongst the unbelievable things that happens during the course of the film.

For the horror fans out there, the blood and guts delivered in here are enough for two films, and rest assured, realism is attempted as much as possible (pig flesh stood in for the human close-ups). This can really only be recommended for those that want to get a physical reaction out of your cinematic viewings, or for those whose taste in comedy is so twisted and demented that the likes of SEVEN and SILENCE OF THE LAMBS made you laugh. If even a little of this review has given you pause (it is even more disgusting than the review implies), skip this one and head on to the next. Don’t feel bad about it. But for those of uneasily turned stomachs and seekers of the bizarre, see for yourself just what has been told. Rest assured, after viewing, you’ll never forget what you’ve just witnessed. Oh, and you may never eat Chinese food again.

THE UNTOLD STORY is currently available uncut on VCD from Bloodwave DVD. It features the original aspect ratio, Cantonese audio and English/Chinese subtitles. The print used is a little beat up but is quite watchable, and the subtitles, even though burned in, are usually very easy to read.

PHANTOM OF DEATH ( 1988 ) A brilliant pianist in his mid-thirties and at the peak of his career is diagnosed with a disease that is quickly eroding his mind and degenerating his body at a rapid rate. Spurned by this disease, the ever maddening Robert lashes out at those who know his secret and are too close to his heart. His murders attract the attention of Inspector Datti, who become obsessed with catching a man whose appearance changes every week. Robert, who knows deep within that he must be stopped, but can not bring himself to merely surrender, eggs Datti on in an cat and mouse in which both the lives of Datti’s daughter and Robert’s pregnant lover at stake.

To many, the name Ruggero Deodato means only two words - CANNIBAL and HOLOCAUST, with a few less knowing his JUNGLE HOLOCAUST and THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK. But the director has marched on through the eighties and into the millennium churning out lesser quality works as he distanced himself from his landmark pictures. This is one of those flicks, as Deodato works from a trio of screen writers whose work had been previously brought to the screen by Deodato and Lucio Fulci among others.

This psychological slasher is a bit uneven, as the first half hour starts out in strong giallo fashion with two brutally graphic and impressive murder sequences and what appears to be camera tricks to not only keep the killer’s identity a secret, but gives several side characters that will serve as false leads for the audience. This is all disposed of though as Robert is revealed to be the killer, and the film switches gears into a tragedy that watches Robert deteriorate, with some quite convincing make up effects. Robert gets several chances to turn back to his killing stylings, and after several false starts and some hammy silloquies about death and savoring life, the film switches gears back into a thriller, as Robert closes in on his final victim.

Deodato unfortunately blows the gore load pretty early on. The first is an jugular gushing sucker punch as a woman’s throat is gashed open by a sword. Another woman is then impaled before being shoved through a pane of glass. The two shocking kills should promise of even greater grue to splash across the screen later in the film, but unfortunately never does, despite Robert’s menacing threats to kill the young because they have the lives ahead of them and the elderly for having lived a full life.

Michael York, who you’ll recognize as Basil Exposition from the AUSTIN POWERS series, stars as Robert. His physical acting here is far better than the cheesy dialogue he has to chew through, as he easily musters up the proper movements and vocalization to match the always aging make up. Donald Pleasance, who returned to the role of Dr. Loomis the same year in HALLOWEEN 4, essentially is Loomis here. His intensity and great character traits that he created with Loomis is alive and well in Datti. He may not have the much of a range, but he is a master of the range he possesses. Also of note to Italian cinema fanatics, this movie marks what is basically Edwige Fenech’s final screen performance. She would return in a few television mini-series and HOSTEL 2, but this is where her career basically ends. Her talents are mostly wasted here as well, with little to do but sit on the couch and wait for Robert to come and try to kill her. But in a throwback to many of her pervious roles and the giallo genre, her character does work in fashion.

This hard-to-find title is now available from Bloodwave DVD. As with most rare films, this is a full-screen transfer with the English soundtrack (of which York and Pleasance voices are included) and is VHS quality. Fortunately, to get over the lackluster quality, this is the even harder to find uncut print, with the complete two opening murder sequences in all their blood-spraying and shocking glory.

SLAUGHTER HIGH (1986) Five years after the cool clique of Doddsville High graduates, they return to the high school for what they assume to be their class reunion. What they find though is the school shut down and scheduled for demolition. But these kids won’t let a little trespassing get in the way, and break into the school. But what they find awaiting them is a banquet of booze and snacks. As the dopey jocks, sex maniacs and class clowns party down, they remember uber-nerd Marty, who they mercilessly picked on as seniors. And when the group begins to drop dead one by one, they fear that perhaps Marty is the one who set all this up, and is now hunting them down as his ultimate revenge. But a little murder won’t stop the drinking, the sex, and one dumb decision after another!

Producers Stephen Minasian and Dick Randall reunite after previously producing PIECES and DON’T OPEN ‘TIL CHRISTMAS for one last blood bath. By 1986, the slasher genre was wearing out its welcome, and had become a tired cliche with little more to offer its audiences than some retreads of already seen murder set-ups and some gratuitous nudity of a young starlet hoping to break into the movie business. SLAUGHTER HIGH is certainly one of these movies, and if you did not see it back during its release, or are unfamiliar with its Megadeth inspired VHS cover, you probably don’t even know this exists.

A trio of first time writers and directors, George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, and Peter Mackenzie Litten essentially cobble together every high school cardboard stereotype, switch up a few kill scenes just enough to call them their own (okay, there is no mistaking the ALIEN rip-off), and let a shadowed killer that they don’t even to hide the identity of roam the halls. They give the audience exactly what they’ve come for - a high body count, and ludicrous plotline, and boobs. The acting is atrocious, but there are few good effects shots - the best being the stop-motion melting of skin off a skull.

SLAUGHTER HIGH gets not one, but two connections to FRIDAY THE 13th. The first being way-too-obvious joke regarding a hockey mask. This brings in just a few questions of rational for someone looking way too hard at this low-budget time-killer. If the characters are familiar with Jason, his killing ways, and assumedly the conventions of horror, why do they continually split up, voluntarily get left alone, and sneak off for a quick lay? The second connection is composer Harry Manfredini, who gave the world the classic chi-chi-chi-ha-ha-ha. His music here is basically a retread of every music cue from his most famous score except for the aforementioned breathy number, but at least you know you’ve got at least one competent name attached to the credits.

Horror completists will need to track this down for at least one watch, if for nothing else than to wallow in cinematic cheese at some of its absolute worst. The film offers no scares and little suspense, a few threadbare jokes, and for at the time what must have been to thought of as a clever ending. If you felt burned by APRIL FOOL’S DAY, be prepared for another slap in the face.

Left to rot and essentially be forgotten on the shelves of disappearing video stores, this movie is now available on DVD from Bloodwave. Presented uncut, but unfortunately in full-screen, you’ll finally be able to have a digital back up of that nearly worn through VHS tape copy you’ve been desperately clutching to. And with the original artwork ported over as well, you’ll be ready to pop open a Lite and relive a trip to the video store all over again!

THE GLAMOROUS LIFE OF SACHIKO HANAI (2003)After being shot in the head, prostitute Sachiko awakens to find herself consumed to learn and digest the works of the great philosophers and thinkers from Socrates to Nietzsche. And on top of that, whenever she begins to explore these thoughts in her head, she becomes compelled to have sex with the closest person, or merely satisfy herself if no one is in arm reach. At first this works out just fine, as she moves in with professor and his wife under the false pretense that she is there to tutor their son. But when she discovers that she is also in possession of a cloned finger of George W. Bush, whose fingerprint can be used to launch a nuclear assault, and that spies from North Korea are after it, her simple life as a sex worker is about to reach metaphysical proportions!

Lulled in by a psychedelic poster with an irrestistable pose and costume worn by main actress Emi Kuroda (which she doesn’t even wear!), I was quite disappointed to find that this movie was nothing more than a bland Japanese softcore “pink movie” with an infinite disgust for Bush and the power that he wields. [Read The Full Review at Movies At Midnight]

SUPERBAD (2007) With two weeks left until high school graduation, best friends Seth and Evan are coming to grips with the fact that they will not be going to college together, and try to devise the perfect plan to get girlfriends for the summer with the sole purpose of learning to become masters of bedroom pleasuring before they become freshmen in the Fall. A sketchy plan comes to fruition when their annoying tag-along friend/nuisance Fogell gets a fake ID the same day that one of Seth’s lustful crushes asks him to come to a party she is having, and he offers to buy some booze.

That afternoon, Fogell attempts to purchase said alcohol, and when Seth and Evan think that Fogell is being arrested (though he is really just talking to two cops about a robbery), the co-dependant pair set out on epic journey into the night to score some booze in order to gain access to the party that should bring them into manhood. Meanwhile, Fogell sets out on his own fantastic adventure when he becomes a backseat companion to two of the coolest cops to ever hit the beat. [Read The Rest Of My Review at Geeks Of Doom]

PSYCHO BEACH PARTY (2000) In a small town near Malibu Beach, innocent girl-next-door Florence becomes friends with the local surfers, and quickly catches her eye on surf guru Kanaka. But no sooner does her friendship with the group starts to solidify than they start dying off at the hands of an unknown killer. The group also meets up with a B-movie actress who has taken up residence in a beach house that is supposedly haunted. As residents continue to drop off like flies, each of the survivors becomes a suspect under the iron gaze of the militant police captain Monica Stark. When Kanaka discovers Florence’s secret - that she has a split personality - Kanaka fears that she may be the killer but also finds himself inexplicably attracted to her dark alter ego. And at the annual beach luau, as the local teens gather to dance the night away hoping to stay alive, all will be revealed!

This film, which is actually based on a stage play of the same name and rewritten for the screen by the play’s writer Charles Busch (who also plays the police captain), has been touted as a mix of the 60’s beach blanket movies with the 70’s slasher. However, Busch is clearly more interested in sending up the beach party movies and their go-go style than making anything resembling a horror movie. Following Busch’s script, director Robert Lee King explores the homo-erotic undertones of the surf movie culture, the commie fears of the McCarthy era, and the pure sexual energy of youth without fear of being blacklisted. King saturates his movie with a dripping and over-the-top style of the sixties beach movie with loving tribute to the clothes, the cars, and drive-in culture of the era, and even goes so far as to have the actors “surf” in front of a projection screen. [Read the rest of my review at Gorezone]

EXILED (2006)When Wo is discovered to be living in Macao, Boss Fay orders Blaze to kill him. Wo once attempted to assassinate Fay, and now he must pay the price. But Blaze and Wo were once friends, and Blaze is unable to pull off the job. Even more so, his friend Tai has pleaded for Blaze to spare Wo’s life. These three, along with their gangster friends Cat and Fat, conspire to pull off a highly risky assassination job of Boss Keung, and intend to give the money they earn from it to hide away Wo and his family. Their plot to kill Keung is quite tricky, and even the slightest deviation from their plan will alert Fay, and bring his henchmen down on them. And on top of all this, the clock is slowly counting down to the handover of Macao to the Chinese government, their lives and fates are up in the air as to what the future holds.

For fans of Hong Kong action with knowledge that goes past John Woo and Chow Yun-Fat, you have only to look at the laundry list of talent attached to this film to know that it will succeed on every level. Johnnie To directs, through his Milky Way Image production company. The script comes from the pen of two writers whose previous scripts include EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED, A HERO NEVER DIES, and BREAKING NEWS. And the cast is a perfect assortment of Hong Kong’s classic gangster actors including Anthony Wong, Simon Yam, Francis Ng, Lam Suet, and Roy Cheung, which coincidentally is most of the main cast for Johnnie To’s classic THE MISSION. [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom]

DEEP RED (1975) Helga is a telepathic visiting Italy who feels the frightening presence of a disturbed mind when she is at a lecture. That night, while trying to focus on that mind, she is brutally killed by a hatchet-wielding maniac. Her death is seen by Marc, a jazz pianist who lives in the same building as her. While trying to save her, Marc thinks he sees something as he races through her apartment. It is this sliver of memory, that he can’t recall if he imagined or if he truly saw something, that propels him through the city streets, trying to piece together the puzzle. His path leads him into constant contact with a local reporter, Gianna, who is trying to make a name for herself. But as each piece comes into play, or as a person comes too close to a vital clue, the black-gloved assailant returns from the shadows to murder again. Marc is certain that he is closing in on the truth, but the final discovery could also spell the end of his life!

Director and co-writer Dario Argento once again returns to a familiar world of unknown killers in this genre defining mystery, which was also written by Italian screenplay master Bernardino Zapponi. Together, the two create a film that would shape the crucial ingredients for the 70’s giallo - shocking gore, a dizzying storyline, characters that evolve so that any of them could be the killer, and a pounding soundtrack. But those these would be the standard ingredients, it is Argento’s eye aided by Luigi Kuveiller’s cinematography that keeps DEEP RED a unique film experience that brings fans new and old to the movie again and again. [Read My Full Review at Gorezone]

I’ve been waiting for a chance to write about this movie for sometime, but the inavailability stateside has always held me back. But with Mondo Macabro’s US DVDebut coming up on October 2nd, it is finally time to talk about…

MYSTICS IN BALI (1981) American student Cathy has come to Indonesia to investigate and learn the black magic of the Leyak, the masters of the oldest and more powerful of the black arts. Her friend, a local named Mahendra, uses his connections to get her a meeting with one of the reclusive masters, who decides to take Cathy as a student. Cathy soon learns, through dance, hypnosis and meditation the spells of the Leyak, including transformation. But when Cathy thinks she has learned it all and attempts to leave the old woman, the Leyak master puts Cathy under a possession spell so that she can use her to collect the blood of newborns. The Leyak master literally “borrows” Cathy’s head as her head detaches from her body - with her lungs, heart and organs still attached! - and flies off into the night to bring the Leyak her blood.

Coming out of Indonesia at the height of their exploitation film exporting craze, which utilized the small country’s wealth of folklore, legends, and magic to bring to the screen unique sleazy movies to satiate the filmgoers around the world with sex, violence, and the bizarre. MYSTICS IN BALI has become one of the champion examples of this period of Indonesian Cinema, of which the entire movement was basically funded by the government for tax breaks and to create a small job community. The result was hundreds of micro-budget releases with an eager excitement that helped the films to overcome their technical limitations.

Director H. Tjut Djalil (who would go on to bring the world LADY TERMINATOR) goes native in this black magic filled horror film that pulls from specific regional folklore to bring to the world images they’ve never seen before. His approach to black magic and native superstitions is so over the top that if one did not know it was made by local, one would decry the stereotyping and almost racist depiction of the practitioners. Djalil fills the movie’s soundtrack with rumbling tribal beats and rhythms to punctuate the atmosphere and to remind foreign audiences they are in a strange and new world.

Although there are obvious budget restrictions on screen, Djalil overcomes these limitations with an energetic assortment of special effects. The highlight is of course is Cathy’s flying head, and the first time Djalil lets her head loose is an out-of-nowhere sucker-punch to the collective horror stomach. Unless you’ve grown up on Indonesia folklore, you’ve never ever seen something or heard of something like this before. Djalil incorporates a variety of cheap effects to bring this legend to life, from blue-screen layering and split-screens for close ups to literally flying a mannequin head with some guts attached around on string for the wide shots. The result is ludicrous but somehow hypnotically appealing. Djalil keeps the hooky effects coming as he shows transformations with a cheap WOLFMAN-style fades as more and more make up is applied with each shot, and a fifteen foot tongue that comes out of the woods in which you can almost imagine the poor sod behind a tree trying to keep control over it.

Part of the charm of any East Asia import is of course the English Dub. MYSTICS IN BALI may hold the record for one of the most stilted and blatant exposition dialogue tracks to ever be recorded. And while classic Hong Kong kung-fu flicks were usually given their audio dub by professionals in a studio, this track seems to be recorded by the first people Djalil could find on the street that spoke English, and told to read the script on the spot. Several main characters ever sound like they were dubbed by the same person! To top it all off, Djalil doesn’t ever try to get the actors lips and the dialogue to match up.

Take a look into a world of cinema mostly overlooked save for the most experimental moviegoer with this wildly amusing and entertaining tale that will be sure to put a smile on your face and serve as an introduction to the world of Indonesian sleaze. There’s plenty more where this one came from!