Sayonara Cinema

For months I have watched and waited patiently in the darkness.  I saw the production sketches, I saw the leaked photos, and reserved judgment until I could see the full length trailer.  I would like to take the opportunity to now say…

FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY.  And dare I say it, FUCK YOU SPEILBERG.

This is *not* a Transformers (capital “T” and trademarked) movie.  This is a movie about giant transforming robots (note the lower case letters).  I understand that some minor changes would need to be made.  I can live with some of the vehicle modifications.  But their robot forms?!  Transformers are not insectoids.  Tranformers do not look like T-800 endo-skeletons with a few car parts attached.  Transfomers are not lanky.

I would like to take this moment to say that the trailer does look cool, even if it does feature classic Michael Bay style editing, where he can’t hold on a shot for more than two seconds.  You can not get much better than giant transforming robots (again note the lower case letters) smashing their way across America.  I freely admit this.  But what they have done to Transfomers is a travesity.  The dude does not abide.

There is only one TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE.  It is animated, came out in 1986, and had the guts to murder an icon to children worldwide.

Will I see “Michael Bay’s Transformers”?  Yes.  Will I enjoy it for its brutal robot fighting action, mindless destruction, and what I pray is a high human death toll?  Hell yes.  Will I cringe each time they use the names Optimus Prime, Bumbleebee, Megatron, Starscream, etc?  You better fucking believe I will.