Sayonara Cinema

Attention Readers: This review will heavily compare and contrast (mostly contrast) against Park Chan-Wook’s OLDBOY, of which this film is a remake. If you have not seen OLDBOY, then for the love of all that is brutal, go see it first and then come back here. There will be spoilers ahead for sure. Still here? Great! Now lets get going….

ZINDA (2005) Bala is an Indian software designer that has recently been been transferred to Bangkok to continue developing his latest program. His wife has also come with him. Soon after they move into their new house, Bala is abducted for no apparent reason. He finds himself imprisoned in a strange room, where he has no contact with the outside world and is fed a strict diet of fried dumplings. After fourteen years of imprisonment, he is just as mysteriously released. On his person is a huge wad of cash and a cell phone. Bala begins to receive anonymous phone calls from the person who had him imprisoned, and challenges him to figure out why he was put there. With the help of a cab driver, Jenny, who is also Indian, they head out into Bangkok. Bala only has one thing on his mind, revenge, and he intends to pay it out in spades.

From the moment you meet Jenny, who is the equivalent to OLDBOY’S Mi-Do, you know things are going to get bad. Jenny is obviously too old to be Bala’s daughter, so right away you can deduce that the entire incest revenge plot is going to be rewritten. But you should have known that from the beginning. In India, people destroyed movie theatres for showing the film FIRE, which involves a lesbian love story. What do you think they would have done had the director, Sanjay Gupta, stayed completely faithful to the source material?

Sanjay Dutt takes on the impressive task of filling Choi Min-Sik’s shoes in the role of Bala, the equivalent to OLDBOY’s Dae-Su. Sanjay Dutt is an impressive actor within his own right, and has been acting in India for over twenty-five years. However, his acting and attempt at being menacing, pitiful, sympathetic and ruthless all at the same time can not compare. It is like watching a high school play or road show of a Broadway musical. It is just not going to compete. Try as the stunt team and choreographer might, Dutt just can not pull off the brutal physical action and strength that is required for this role.

Up next is John Abraham, who takes the reigns as the villain Rohit, who is the mastermind behind Bala’s imprisonment. Similar comparisons can be made to Dutt’s acting. Here, Abraham completely overacts, yells and loses his “cool” far too often. He does not have the sophistication, patience and tolerance that the role should evoke. Instead, one wonders by the character’s actions how he was able to pull off waiting fourteen years. He is much too eager to get into the “let-me-explain-everything” portion of his plan.

When people watch OLDBOY, they generally come away with two burned in memories. One is the five-minute one-shot hallway fight, and the second is the shocking ending revelations. Here, an attempt is made to mirror that fight sequence. The results are almost cringe-inducing. Gone is the side view that tracks down the hallway. Instead, the camera watches over Bala’s shoulder, and tries to stay out of his way as he goes through the motions. The hardest part to watch are goons he is fighting. Each of them are obviously waiting for their particular mark and time to lunge forward, get hit and fall back down. Oh, and don’t forget the CGI knife that is plunged into and stays in Bala’s back for half the fight. The “new” end will be left for you to discover, just in case you feel the desire to still watch this and laugh and roll your eyes for two hours. Needless to say, it is all wrapped up in an easy-to-swallow happy ending that is ready for India to consume.

Had this been an original film from India and released exactly as it is, there is no doubt it would have garnered some very positive reviews and won over fans rabid for revenge storylines. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Instead it is a remake that can only fall into the why-was-this-made-to-begin-with category. It will be fun to see what Hollywood does with the source material. Perhaps if they see ZINDA first, they’ll realize what they are doing and leave well enough alone.

HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY (1981) A family has moved into a New England mansion, so that the father, Norman, can continue the research of the previous occupant, who hung himself. After digging into his predecessor’s research, he discovers that the house was originally owned by Dr. Freudstein, who conducted illegal human experimentation. Norman’s continued research leads to a startling fact - although he is supposed to be dead, Freudstein’s body was never buried. He then learns the shocking truth that Freudstein may still very well be alive, and living off the body parts of missing people.

This is one of the lesser known movies of Lucio Fulci, who was responsible for ZOMBI 2, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD and THE BEYOND. It is considered one of his last great shockers. There are not as many murder sequences here, but the few presented are worthy of Fulci’s trademark gore, and include a knife through the head, a grotesque throat slashing, and a throat being ripped out. Also present is Fulci’s hard-to-follow semi-supernatural storyline, suspenseful camera usage, wicked keyboard led theme music, and the uneasy feeling that everyone is fair game to be a victim.

Worth checking out if you are a horror fan and have already seen Fulci’s more known films, or if you are looking to dip your toes in the Fulci library, as this one of his tamer outings and is a good introduction to hs style. Stay away if the sound of annoying English dubbed children make your ears bleed.

DOG SOLDIERS (2002) In the highlands of Scotland, a small group of soldiers are on a routine training mission. During their excursion through the woods, they come across a destroyed military camp, and only one man, Ryan, still barely alive. As they begin to make their way through the woods, they are attacked by monstrous creatures, and only survive the ordeal when they come across a car driving on a nearby road. They make it to a nearby farmhouse, and there they make their stand. Megan, the woman who was driving, explains that what they are facing are indeed werewolves. Although the men at first do not believe her, least of all Cooper (Kevin McKidd, best known as Tommy from TRAINSPOTTING), once the werewolves catch up and begin their systematic attack, they soon discover the truth of what they are facing. And with six hours left till sunrise, no one may be live long enough to bring news that myth is indeed reality to the outside world.

Here in the debut from Neil Marshall (who would go on to bring us THE DESCENT), werewolves get a very much needed vault into the 21st century, and British horror gets another notch on the damn cool branch. Marshall’s natural writing ability is on fine display here, and through the small talk and quips the soldiers have early in the film, their relationships are quickly set up, and you instantly care for them. These are just regular blokes, who would rather be watching football (that’s soccer to you Yankee wankers) than defending the Queen. As the film transgresses into the claustrophobic horror and supernatural terror, they stay rooted firmly in reality, and react just as anyone probably would in their situation. And if you’ve been using English slang ever since watching the aforementioned TRAINSPOTTING, you’ll probably pick up a few new words for your arsenal after seeing this.
Marshall’s direction is also spot on. He uses wide and full shots while outside, and then brings the camera closer in as the action becomes cramped and contained, which emphasizes the closed in feeling the characters are dealing with. Even as the pace starts pumping, and the editing gets quicker, Marshall does not let the action become muddled. The characters’ whereabouts in the house, and what is happening, is always under control and you can keep track of everything that is going on. Unlike many directors, he uses the editing to his advantage, and does not let it devolve into the flashy, shaky, one-cut-after-another style that is all too common now a days.

Another breath of fresh air, and a sigh of relief, is that the werewolves are all physical special effects, and there are barely any CGI enhancement in the entire film. Through a masterful combination of costumes and animatronics, the monstrous abominations are brought to life, and look just like what a real wolfman would probably be. They are vicious, remorseless, hungry, and tear their victims to pieces, and the gore that follows is unapologetic, with the blood and guts literally pouring out and arterial sprays staining the walls red. They also act as a pack (like real wolves), which is rarely used as an element in werewolf movies. Here it gives a fresh new element to what is arguably a limited subgenre of horror, and creates new difficulties in dispatching them.

Neil Marshall has easily marked himself as a new name in horror that should be closely watched, and any projects that he becomes attached to should be savored as a delicacy served to the world of the silver screen. On the cover of DOG SOLDIERS, JAWS, ALIENS and PREDATOR are used to entice the viewer to rent or buy a film that they otherwise might pass over. The comparisons are justified, though the film stands without needing the crutch of another film. Perhaps in a few years, and if the horror community is lucky enough, Marshall’s efforts will be added to the elite list of cover blurbs, and future debut films will use the likes of DOG SOLDIERS and THE DESCENT to promote them.

Originally conceived by Kurt Cobain, and completed by Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl, this documentary of sorts compiles live footage of Nirvana, mostly from 1992 and some from 1993 as they play around the world. The first hour of the documentary quickly leaps from one song to the next, and about the 65 minute mark veers off into a strange multilayer, almost unintelligible collage of sound and video piece of post-modern art that can catch the viewer off guard. It then veers back into a live rendition of Endless Nameless (the hidden CD track off Nevermind) and an anarchic montage of the band destroying their instruments at the end of their shows.

Intercut between the songs, the three band mates discuss their newly discovered and unwanted uber-popularity, their take on what punk rock is, their thoughts on corporate rock, and snippets of them goofing off via media interviews and self shot camcorder. News footage, mostly from the Mtv News archives, is also interwoven. Watching them play, listening to what and how they play, listening to what they say you can see that they almost want the majority of their newfound fans via Smells Like Teen Spirit to hate them and stop listening to them. They never expected to get where they are, and on several occasions during the interview complain that they aren’t able to do smaller venue shows anymore.

It was an early Sunday (or was it Saturday) morning in April, 1994 when my brother’s friend called looking for him, and asked me if I had heard Kurt had committed suicide. An huge Nirvana fan at the time, I thought he was joking, but when I turned the TV on, I immediately found out the awful truth. I don’t remember anymore what my initial feelings were, but I do remember thinking that now I would never be able to see Nirvana perform, and that I was angry at what he had done.

Kurt was one of the main influences for me to pick up the guitar and to pick up a pen. I will shamelessly defend my opinion that, whether they want to be or not, Nirvana became the most important and influential bands to come out of the nineties, and they were an important part of my growing up. They are one of the last bands to come along to really define an entire movement or part of a generation (maybe there have been others since, but I can’t think of one and would blindly argue that they have not made as big an impact) and their hard-rock-hard-pop-alternative-pop-punk sound will forever echo in the halls of history.

My favorite part of the documentary, and I think it kind of boils down Nirvana, is their performance on some British talk show. After the very cheeky look-how-hip-I-am host makes a few promo announcements, he introduces that Nirvana will now play Lithium. Instead they thrash right into Territorial Pissings and then of course destroy their instruments. Call it childish, call it selfish, call it juvenile. I call it freedom of choice and expression, and I thank them for instilling it in me.

MR. VAMPIRE (1985) A Taoist Priest has been called upon to inspect the reburial of a businessman..s grandfather. The Priest realizes that the corpse has become a vampire, and begins his preparations to put the soul to rest. But the body awakens before he can finish his magic spells, and it escapes to spread terror in the town. In a courageous act, the priest takes control of several other corpses to use as a small militia to stop the vampire. Meanwhile, one of the Priest..s assistants has fallen under the romantic spell of a ghost and must be saved before he forever becomes her slave, while the other has become infected by a vampire bite and must be kept under constant supervision to reverse the transformation.

This is the film solely responsible for igniting the hopping vampire craze that swept across Hong Kong cinema in the late 80..s and early 90..s. It also created the typecast role for Lam Ching-Ying, who would go on to forever be remembered as the One Eye-Browed Priest. This is a Hong Kong horror in the purest sense, and successfully pulls off the blend of scares and laughs required. The film goes into incredible detail portraying the rites of a Taoist Priest, and fight scenes are incredibly fun as the hopping vampires get out of control. Many sequels and rip-offs followed, but few came close to capturing the initial impact of their originator.

This is one of my all time favorite Hong Kong films. It is an absolute blast and highly recommended for those sick of long-haired-ghost-girls, and those interested in Eastern mythology and folklore.

Today there is no movie post, but if you’ll glance your eyes to the right, you’ll see that I have started to sort my movie reviews by alphabet, to make it a little easier for you to find a posting.If there is one thing I am a stickler for, it is having my media and my reviews all nice and alphabetized, and it was high time I set it up here too.  It is just a boring text list (I’m too lazy to incorporate the movie poster as a link, plus there’s maybe two or three people actually reading this blog), so it’ll do.

Oh, and if you want me to review your favorite movie or punish me with some cinematic dreck,  suggest away and chances are you’ll see a posting here somewhere down the line.

Happy reading!

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006) A family is crossing the desert in a truck and camper trailer on their way to California. Soon after being advised to take a back road, their vehicle has what appears to be a tire blow out, and the family becomes stuck in the middle of nowhere. While at first their trouble seem to be just getting a tow truck, they soon are attacked by the “locals”, a tribe of mutants transformed by radiation. The family is quickly whittled down to a few survivors, and while one heads into the hills to retrieve his kidnapped baby, the other two establish a fortification and attempt to turn the tide on their attackers.

In the recent onslaught of cinematic remakes, this ranks just behind 2004’s DAWN OF THE DEAD. This effort comes courtesy of Alexandre Aja, the man behind France’s wicked HAUTE TENSION. Here, Aja and company take Craven’s original idea and treat it with the upmost respect. Only tiny tweaks are made to the story, and with the expansion into the “mutant town”, the terror is exponentially multiplied. Aja’s very realistic and gruesome gore is back as well, and the mutant make-up is simply inspiring (while at the same time horrifying) to look at. Aja continues to bring the no-holds-barred style of 70’s shock cinema into a new century to a new audience, and we are all the better for it. This is no Michael Bay produced shlock for a quick buck (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake, I’m looking at you), this is true love and devotion.

I was skeptical going in to this film, as I am for any remake, and this one comes damn close to being trumping the original.  Kudos to me for calling the final shot of the movie.

 THE GOONIES (1985) On the weekend before their homes are about to be foreclosed and torn down to make a golf course, a small band of outcast twelve year olds - the heroic leader Mikey (Sean Astin), the wiseass Mouth (Corey Feldman), the invention-obsessed Data (Ke Huy Quan) and comedian Chunk (Jeff Cohen) - set out to find the town..s mythical treasure in order to save their homes. In tow with them is Mikey..s older brother Bran, and two teenage girls, Andy and Stef, who stumble into the mess early on. Fast on their trail though is the Fratelli Gang, but as the Goonies make their way through underground caverns and one booby-trap after another, the lost pirate gold and an answer to their dreams may just come true.

Even after twenty years, THE GOONIES is still a great adventure flick that will both stimulate the child that used to be in you and any kids that have come out of you, and has aged quite well both in effects and plot given the superior name power and production behind the film. The three big names behind the camera are executive producer Steven Speilberg, who also came up with the storyline, screenwriter Chris Columbus and producer/director Richard Donner. Among the star talent you’ll discover Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Ke Huy Quan, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey.

As a kid (hell, even as a teenager), I always found myself returning to THE GOONIES time and time again, to fulfill the insatiable wanderlust and “what if scenerios” that the story inspires. The fact that buried treasure could be right beneath your feet, and all you had to do was find a treasure map and set out with your friends to discover it was always uplifting. Add to that some great physical comedy, the multiple utterings of “shit” in a family movie, teen romance just waiting to be found, a heroic monster and dimwitted bad guys, and this is just about the best film a ten year old could ask for. Oh, and did I mention the fuckin’ pirate ship?! To paraphrase STAND BY ME, a movie and novel of a different sort of boyhood adventure, ..you never have friends quite like when you are twelve… This film, even through its fantastical adventure story, retains at its heart a message of friendship and the power that it holds.

Upon watching the film as an adult though, I noticed for the first time an entirely different sublevel to the story that I had never consciously seen, and through this I give even greater accolades to the Speilberg/Columbus/Donner trio. There is an almost unsettling childhood-vs-adulthood battle lying beneath almost every scene. Sure, the adult Fratelli Gang are after the kids, and the evil country club is about to knock down the Goonies’ homes, and this is plainly seen in the events on screen. Beneath that though, is the corruption of innocence waiting to pounce, and the power, both good and bad, that adults have over kids.

Bran, the older brother of Mikey, is used as the intermediary throughout the film to express these points. It is Mikey’s quest to find the treasure, but it is Bran’s unknowing quest to retain his child wonder that serves as the basis for this examination. At the beginning of the film, Bran is accepted among Mikey and his three friends, even if he is a few years older. He has also failed his driver’s test, a pivotal mark off adulthood, which forces him to ride a bike, the mode of transportation for kids. When their mother puts Bran in charge though, he becomes authority, and the four kids must escape him in order to go on their adventure.

After Bran catches up to them, he at first insists that they go home right away. It is only through Mikey..s persistent pleading, that Bran relents and becomes entranced by the possibility that the map may lead somewhere. He is then accepted once again into the arms of the group as they continue their subterranean mission. Bran continues to walk a thin line though, as he insists on using the “men’s room” instead of the “little boy’s room” during a bathroom break and takes on responsibility when he forces everyone to leave the cave when it begins to collapse instead of going after the treasure. It is during the last shot of the movie when he joins the four kids in cheering for the pirate ship as it floats away, that he succeeds in staving off adulthood, if only for a brief moment in time, and fully embraces what he has just experienced.

If only more adults would be able to do that…

(Bet you never thought you’d read an analytical look at The Goonies)

MUSA (2001) In China, 1375, the country has been torn in two by the warring Ming and Yuan Dynasties. A large group of diplomats are sent from Korea to China to make peace with the new government. But when the diplomats are charged as spies by the Ming, they are sentenced to exile on a remote island. When the Yuan attacks their group during their guarded transfer to the island, they barely survive, and learn in the process that the Yuan have kidnapped a Ming princess (Zhang Ziyi). The diplomats decide to rescue her in hopes of winning favor with the Ming and safe passage home.

When the princess is finally taken into the care of the diplomats, young general Choi instantly falls in love with her, and never lets her out of his protective sight. Meanwhile, the elderly yet still powerful Yesol keeps guard over his fallen master’s body, and plans on bringing it back to Korea for proper burial. As they continue their journey, they are repeated attacked by the enemy. Only through superior military skill do they prevail to the fortress where the princess will be safe, however, one final stage of their journey is still ahead of them, and tragedy will accompany their every step.

At the time of release, this was one of Koreas most epic and costly productions, and it certainly shows with every scene. From sets to costumes, and from location shooting in China to the cast and crew, every dollar is on the screen. The tale of a band of soldiers from Korea is lavishly detailed, beautifully filmed, and politically insightful, all while being brutally violent in the same vein as BRAVEHEART. The stoyline is well thought out (though authenticity to 600 year old history could be questioned), and the characters are given time to flesh out in between battles.

Director Kim Seong-Su, who had previously released several character driven dramas in Korea, lets loose a saga full of stylistic sound a fury, with kinetic camerawork that is hard to deny. Kim’s attention to detail and research into the time period this film takes place is a double edged sword here though. During the action sequences, the highly realistic weaponplay brings about several wince-inducing deaths, but during the dialog sequences this gets drawn out a bit too long. Kim’s attempt to make every single character into a living and breathing person, a la Akira Kurosawa’s epics, can be a bit trying at times. There is more than one sequence here that involve a look into class systems and political motivations which would fit nicely into a History Channel documentary on China, but here only slows the pace for those that are not totally dedicated to period pieces offer.

Jeong Woo-Sung, who plays Choi, returns for the third time to be directed by Kim Seong-Su. He pulls off an well-balanced between emotional acting that really pulls at your heart and amazing ability to use a sword that will have you holding your breath as he charges into battle. Zhang Ziyi, fresh off the set of 2000’s CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON, essentially plays the same bratty and brazen young woman here.

Clocking in at over two and a half hours, MUSA will drag a bit for those expecting nonstop balls-to-the-wall action. There is an international version available though, which cuts the film down to just over two hours, and should be a reasonable alternative to those that do not wish to deal with the full spectrum that MUSA has to offer. Modern Korean cinema has a way of blending several genre styles without effort, and here just about everything is on tap - action, drama, romance and tragedy - and setting aside the nitpicking previously mentioned, this film will find its way to a growing list of swordplay epics that are perfect to fill a Saturday afternoon.

As horror films continue to push the limits in suspense and gore, film viewers become all the more jaded and numb to what they witness on screen. What was once innovative and boundary breaking in now boring. The slow build-up of suspense and atmosphere that once dominated the silver screen has been replaced (for the most part) by flashy murder sequences, shallow character development to the point of stereotyped cliche and the dreaded MTV-style editing to hide a director or cinematographers lack of talent.

Although there are still many excellent horror films coming out both in the US and around the world, the production cycle has once again returned to the photocopy and mimic movie mill where films are churned out in a rapid succession to capitalize on the latest “it” theme.

It is in these desperate times that reflection on past cinematic achievements must be made, to remember what made cinema so frightening to moviegoers years ago, and learn from these classics. In these films atmosphere, lighting, music, direction, camera shots, editing and acting were all looked at with respect and used as tools to the best of their ability. Given the limitations of filmmaking back then, the strengths of one were used to mask the weaknesses of another to great affect.

In this look back on horror from the past, the first submitted is WHITE ZOMBIE, a somewhat-overlooked classic that was once thought to be lost forever.

WHITE ZOMBIE (1932) A soon-to-be-married couple are invited to have their ceremony on the Haitian estate of Mr. Beaumont. But his invitation is but a trick, for he has turned to Murder Legendre (Bela Lugosi) who holds the power to control the dead, for a way to make the woman his. Legendre uses his potion to turn Madeleine into a walking corpse for Beaumont, who quickly realizes the error of his ways. When he attempts to free Madeleine, Legendre sends his legion of zombies after Beaumont, and plans to make Madeleine his instead.

Lugosi here is at the top of his game, having just come off of DRACULA before making this movie. The film’s story uses the Haitian walking corpse mythology to bring the undead creatures to the screen. It is filled with classic horror atmosphere, a haunting music score, and what must have been shocking images at the time of its release of the soulless dead working the sugar cane fields and submitting to every command of the zombie master. Before zombies became Romero-ified, this is how the dead rose from the Earth.