Sayonara Cinema

The Black Donnellys

The Complete TV Series

Take the melodramatic relationships and good looks of Dawson’s Creek (don’t forget the soft indie rock that plays under everything for additional heartstring pulling), get the entire cast drunk on Jameson’s Irish Whisky, give them a thorough pub brawl beating by the members of The Pogues and Flogging Molly, and then dump them in a New York mob neighborhood and you’re getting somewhere close to what NBC’s single-season show was trying to come across as.

Intrigued? Read the full review at Geeks Of Doom now.

KILLER KILLER (2007) Seven convicted killers, locked away in a ward reserved exclusively for murderers, awaken one morning to find their cell doors open, the guards missing, and the compound surrounded by an impenetrable wall of mist. At first the convicts merely wonder out loud where all the guards have gone, why the compound seems to have to fallen into disarray overnight, and what to do with the unbalanced psychopath that is kept in the basement cellblock. But when the men begin to drop dead one by one, they blame each other, unaware that there is an entity in the shadows, a killer of killers, picking off the inmates in the exact same way that they committed their murders. [Read The Full Review at Gorezone]

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The Boys Vol. 1: The Name Of The Game

Written by Garth Ennis
Illustrated by Darick Robertson
Covers by Robertson and Avina
DC Comics/Wildstorm & Dynamite Entertainment

Who watches the supers? Butcher, that’s who. Billy Butcher. An English gent employed by the CIA to keep an eye on all the horrible deeds that superheroes do when they are not on camera, or get away with when they are on camera simply because of the recognition. Butcher hates supers. And with a very good personal reason. And when he gets a chance to do some damage, whether it be stomping some superhero or pulling some of darkest humored pranks on them, Butcher and his team, known and feared as The Boys, are the best at what they do.

In the mid-nineties, Garth Ennis produced one of the most startling and blasphemous looks at Christianity with his absolutely perfect Preacher. Now, Ennis sets his eyes on tearing down the dogmatic beliefs in the superhero genre, destroying anything wholesome that can be associated with the term “hero,” and even eliminates the wide diversity of where all these supers originate from with one fell swoop of a word bubble. The first splash page of the first issue should give a hint at exactly what Ennis is going to do to superheroes, as a huge black boot comes smashing down on the already battered skull of a generic masked super, presumably killing him. His pen is a sharp as the words he puts to paper, and if you get too close, he will make you bleed. This is the bus we’ve climbed onto, with that mad Irishman Ennis at the wheel, a half bottle of drank Bushmill’s in his hand with full intentions of finishing it. [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom]

THE CITY OF VIOLENCE (2006)When retired gang leader Wang-Jae is murdered, detective Tae-Soo returns to his hometown for the first time in ten years after leaving to become a detective in Seoul. Tae-Soo reunites with his old high school friends to say farewell to Wang-Jae, but feels that something is not right about his death. With his fists and temper at his side, Tae-Soo uses the power of the law to stir up a few hornet nests trying to figure out just what happened. For his troubles, Tae-Soo is beset by multiple gangs, all trying to keep Tae-Soo from finding out too much. But with his friend Seok-Hwan at his side, whose fists are just as merciless, Tae-Soo starts tearing through the lies, deceptions, and criminal activity setting up shop in the tourist district. And when he finally gets someone to talk, he learns that it may just be their mutual friend Pil-Ho behind the murder.

The domestic release of The City Of Violence comes courtesy of Dragon Dynasty, a genre label under the newly formed Weinstein Company. The Weinsteins, who were once the targets of the seething wrath of Hong Kong fans for their Dimension releases of Jet Li and Jackie Chan films, which only featured English dubs and shortened versions of the movie, have finally come around and given the fans just what they want — original dialogue and subtitles, the uncut film, and plenty of extras. A quick look at the original CJ Entertainment extras looks like they’ve ported over the entire Region 3 release. As well as a Dolby Digital and DTS Korean soundtrack, an English dub is also made available on this DVD, for those that can’t deal with “reading” a movie. [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom]

ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN (2007) Ten-year-old Michael Myers, the product of a dysfunctional and broken family, has slowly been building up a terrible darkness inside him. Barraded by his stepfather, ignored by his older sister, and picked on at school, Michael finds solace behind a clown’s mask and the killing of small animals. On Halloween night, after yet another run-in with bullies, Michael finally takes the next step in becoming a monster as he systemically murders everyone in his house. He is placed in Smith’s Grove Sanitarium, under the watchful eye of Dr. Loomis, who try as he may, is unable to tap into Michael.

Almost seventeen years later, Michael has grown into an impossibly strong brute of a man, and has not spoken a word since he was eleven. He has grown fascinated with masks and makes countless paper mache ones in his cell. During a transfer, Michael makes his escape, and after massacring everyone in the sanitarium, escapes. Dr. Loomis, who had recently given up on Michael, knows exactly where he is going, back home to Haddonfield, Illinois. Michael’s arrival quickly paints the town in dirty blood red, and he soon focuses his attention on Laurie Strode, his re-christened and adopted baby sister. Dr. Loomis knows that this is his target, but what he’ll do once he catches up to her is anyone’s guess. [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom ]

ALONE (2007) When Pim’s mother falls fatally ill, she is forced to return to Thailand from Korea to oversee her care. Along with her is her Thai boyfriend Wee. Pim (Masha Wattanapanich), who is the sole survivor of conjoined twins, is thrown face first into her old life as both painful and beautiful memories resurface when she and Wee move into her old house. In Pim’s old room, her and her sister Ploy’s clothes still hang, each set lovingly hand-sewed together by their mother.

But Pim’s return brings back not just distant memories, but it seems as if Ploy’s spirit has also returned to seek revenge against Pim. But Pim is the only one who has seen the face of Ploy in mirrors and reflections, and Wee believes that it is merely stress which are bringing upon these hallucinations. Pim visits Wee’s psychologist friend, who comes to the same conclusion as Wee, but with Pim’s visions become more frequent and more violent, she is utterly convinced that Ploy is after her. Has Ploy truly returned from the dead, or is Pim merely falling down a spiral staircase of madness? [Read My Full Review at Geeks Of Doom]

THE UNTOLD STORY (1993) In Macau, the discovery of some severed limbs in the bay begin an investigation by the local inept police department. Through sheer luck, they discover clues that lead them to the Eight Immortals Restaurant, and the cook/owner Wong Chi-Hang (Anthony Wong). They believe that Wong may be guilty of killing the family, and when they discover the shred of evidence they need, they arrest him, and through unrelenting police beatings, Wong finally submits and tells his tale. But what he tells them, which includes the horrific murders of the family, and what he did with the bodies, is beyond anything they are prepared to hear.

Deftly mixing extreme gore, shocking brutality, the blackest of humor, and lowbrow comedy that can only come from Hong Kong, writer/director Herman Yau cooks up a dish that is the perfect recipe for cult status. Most shocking of all, though, is that the tale of Wong Chi-Hang is based on a true story, which Yau investigated extensively to stay as true to the real events as possible. With the then newly created “Category III” movie rating in Hong Kong (the equivalent of NC-17), Yau was able to push his shocks further than any director previously could, and portray Wong’s psychopathic acts without much fear of censoring. The results could make the unsuspecting queasy, nauseous , disgusted, and maybe even all three at once.

Yau, though, in his wisdom, realized that these vile actions need to be balanced, and so he concocted a bumbling, moronic and sex-crazed police force to act as a relief. The result is a little jarring to those unaccustomed with the Hong Kong comedy style, but it does make the film a little easier to swallow (no pun intended) and does make for some great bits. Try to think Beavis, Butt-Head, Jim Carrey and John Belushi all trying to work together to catch Ted Bundy or Ed Gein. It is a blend that inconceivably works, as if this were the rule to crime-horror writing, rather than the exception.

Upon its release, THE UNTOLD STORY was taken quite seriously. While such a film would have been relegated to some obscure direct-to-DVD release if made in America, in Hong Kong it was given praise, and even netted Anthony Wong a Best Actor Award for 1994. His complete metamorphosis into the deranged killer is mesmerizing, and the cruelty his is able to conjure up, while over-the-top, seems natural amongst the unbelievable things that happens during the course of the film.

For the horror fans out there, the blood and guts delivered in here are enough for two films, and rest assured, realism is attempted as much as possible (pig flesh stood in for the human close-ups). This can really only be recommended for those that want to get a physical reaction out of your cinematic viewings, or for those whose taste in comedy is so twisted and demented that the likes of SEVEN and SILENCE OF THE LAMBS made you laugh. If even a little of this review has given you pause (it is even more disgusting than the review implies), skip this one and head on to the next. Don’t feel bad about it. But for those of uneasily turned stomachs and seekers of the bizarre, see for yourself just what has been told. Rest assured, after viewing, you’ll never forget what you’ve just witnessed. Oh, and you may never eat Chinese food again.

THE UNTOLD STORY is currently available uncut on VCD from Bloodwave DVD. It features the original aspect ratio, Cantonese audio and English/Chinese subtitles. The print used is a little beat up but is quite watchable, and the subtitles, even though burned in, are usually very easy to read.

PHANTOM OF DEATH ( 1988 ) A brilliant pianist in his mid-thirties and at the peak of his career is diagnosed with a disease that is quickly eroding his mind and degenerating his body at a rapid rate. Spurned by this disease, the ever maddening Robert lashes out at those who know his secret and are too close to his heart. His murders attract the attention of Inspector Datti, who become obsessed with catching a man whose appearance changes every week. Robert, who knows deep within that he must be stopped, but can not bring himself to merely surrender, eggs Datti on in an cat and mouse in which both the lives of Datti’s daughter and Robert’s pregnant lover at stake.

To many, the name Ruggero Deodato means only two words - CANNIBAL and HOLOCAUST, with a few less knowing his JUNGLE HOLOCAUST and THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK. But the director has marched on through the eighties and into the millennium churning out lesser quality works as he distanced himself from his landmark pictures. This is one of those flicks, as Deodato works from a trio of screen writers whose work had been previously brought to the screen by Deodato and Lucio Fulci among others.

This psychological slasher is a bit uneven, as the first half hour starts out in strong giallo fashion with two brutally graphic and impressive murder sequences and what appears to be camera tricks to not only keep the killer’s identity a secret, but gives several side characters that will serve as false leads for the audience. This is all disposed of though as Robert is revealed to be the killer, and the film switches gears into a tragedy that watches Robert deteriorate, with some quite convincing make up effects. Robert gets several chances to turn back to his killing stylings, and after several false starts and some hammy silloquies about death and savoring life, the film switches gears back into a thriller, as Robert closes in on his final victim.

Deodato unfortunately blows the gore load pretty early on. The first is an jugular gushing sucker punch as a woman’s throat is gashed open by a sword. Another woman is then impaled before being shoved through a pane of glass. The two shocking kills should promise of even greater grue to splash across the screen later in the film, but unfortunately never does, despite Robert’s menacing threats to kill the young because they have the lives ahead of them and the elderly for having lived a full life.

Michael York, who you’ll recognize as Basil Exposition from the AUSTIN POWERS series, stars as Robert. His physical acting here is far better than the cheesy dialogue he has to chew through, as he easily musters up the proper movements and vocalization to match the always aging make up. Donald Pleasance, who returned to the role of Dr. Loomis the same year in HALLOWEEN 4, essentially is Loomis here. His intensity and great character traits that he created with Loomis is alive and well in Datti. He may not have the much of a range, but he is a master of the range he possesses. Also of note to Italian cinema fanatics, this movie marks what is basically Edwige Fenech’s final screen performance. She would return in a few television mini-series and HOSTEL 2, but this is where her career basically ends. Her talents are mostly wasted here as well, with little to do but sit on the couch and wait for Robert to come and try to kill her. But in a throwback to many of her pervious roles and the giallo genre, her character does work in fashion.

This hard-to-find title is now available from Bloodwave DVD. As with most rare films, this is a full-screen transfer with the English soundtrack (of which York and Pleasance voices are included) and is VHS quality. Fortunately, to get over the lackluster quality, this is the even harder to find uncut print, with the complete two opening murder sequences in all their blood-spraying and shocking glory.

SLAUGHTER HIGH (1986) Five years after the cool clique of Doddsville High graduates, they return to the high school for what they assume to be their class reunion. What they find though is the school shut down and scheduled for demolition. But these kids won’t let a little trespassing get in the way, and break into the school. But what they find awaiting them is a banquet of booze and snacks. As the dopey jocks, sex maniacs and class clowns party down, they remember uber-nerd Marty, who they mercilessly picked on as seniors. And when the group begins to drop dead one by one, they fear that perhaps Marty is the one who set all this up, and is now hunting them down as his ultimate revenge. But a little murder won’t stop the drinking, the sex, and one dumb decision after another!

Producers Stephen Minasian and Dick Randall reunite after previously producing PIECES and DON’T OPEN ‘TIL CHRISTMAS for one last blood bath. By 1986, the slasher genre was wearing out its welcome, and had become a tired cliche with little more to offer its audiences than some retreads of already seen murder set-ups and some gratuitous nudity of a young starlet hoping to break into the movie business. SLAUGHTER HIGH is certainly one of these movies, and if you did not see it back during its release, or are unfamiliar with its Megadeth inspired VHS cover, you probably don’t even know this exists.

A trio of first time writers and directors, George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, and Peter Mackenzie Litten essentially cobble together every high school cardboard stereotype, switch up a few kill scenes just enough to call them their own (okay, there is no mistaking the ALIEN rip-off), and let a shadowed killer that they don’t even to hide the identity of roam the halls. They give the audience exactly what they’ve come for - a high body count, and ludicrous plotline, and boobs. The acting is atrocious, but there are few good effects shots - the best being the stop-motion melting of skin off a skull.

SLAUGHTER HIGH gets not one, but two connections to FRIDAY THE 13th. The first being way-too-obvious joke regarding a hockey mask. This brings in just a few questions of rational for someone looking way too hard at this low-budget time-killer. If the characters are familiar with Jason, his killing ways, and assumedly the conventions of horror, why do they continually split up, voluntarily get left alone, and sneak off for a quick lay? The second connection is composer Harry Manfredini, who gave the world the classic chi-chi-chi-ha-ha-ha. His music here is basically a retread of every music cue from his most famous score except for the aforementioned breathy number, but at least you know you’ve got at least one competent name attached to the credits.

Horror completists will need to track this down for at least one watch, if for nothing else than to wallow in cinematic cheese at some of its absolute worst. The film offers no scares and little suspense, a few threadbare jokes, and for at the time what must have been to thought of as a clever ending. If you felt burned by APRIL FOOL’S DAY, be prepared for another slap in the face.

Left to rot and essentially be forgotten on the shelves of disappearing video stores, this movie is now available on DVD from Bloodwave. Presented uncut, but unfortunately in full-screen, you’ll finally be able to have a digital back up of that nearly worn through VHS tape copy you’ve been desperately clutching to. And with the original artwork ported over as well, you’ll be ready to pop open a Lite and relive a trip to the video store all over again!

THE GLAMOROUS LIFE OF SACHIKO HANAI (2003)After being shot in the head, prostitute Sachiko awakens to find herself consumed to learn and digest the works of the great philosophers and thinkers from Socrates to Nietzsche. And on top of that, whenever she begins to explore these thoughts in her head, she becomes compelled to have sex with the closest person, or merely satisfy herself if no one is in arm reach. At first this works out just fine, as she moves in with professor and his wife under the false pretense that she is there to tutor their son. But when she discovers that she is also in possession of a cloned finger of George W. Bush, whose fingerprint can be used to launch a nuclear assault, and that spies from North Korea are after it, her simple life as a sex worker is about to reach metaphysical proportions!

Lulled in by a psychedelic poster with an irrestistable pose and costume worn by main actress Emi Kuroda (which she doesn’t even wear!), I was quite disappointed to find that this movie was nothing more than a bland Japanese softcore “pink movie” with an infinite disgust for Bush and the power that he wields. [Read The Full Review at Movies At Midnight]